Praying Psalm 46

I woke up this morning feeling anxious about the challenges I am facing today–heart heavy, pit in stomach, dry mouth needing big breaths. It’s the kind of day that makes me want to hide under the covers til it goes away. My aging parents have recently sold their house and I have been helping them close out this chapter of their lives. Whittling down all their possessions and attachments and spending extended time with them stirs up so many memories, longings, and regrets. It is also an undeniable reminder that we are actually entering the last chapter of their lives.

God gave me Psalm 46 to hang onto throughout the day and I am praying it from head to heart this morning.

¹God is our refuge and strength,
    a very present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
    though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam,
    though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

It is good to remember that God is my refuge and strength especially when trouble comes my way and circumstances around me seem out of my depth, simply impossible on my own. I can’t hide under the covers but I can hide under Him as my refuge. I can pray my fears to Him and lean on His strength. I am reminded that He is present, a very “present” help. He does not walk the other way and He is in the thick of it with me. I don’t have to face those waves of memories, longings, and regrets alone but with the hope of redemption, some here on earth that He longs to show me and always the ultimate one when He makes all things new.

⁴There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy habitation of the Most High.
⁵ God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
    God will help her when morning dawns.
⁶ The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
    he utters his voice, the earth melts.
⁷ The Lord of hosts is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Yes, God is with me, His Spirit flows in me like a river and He has made a home in my heart. Even if things don’t seem to be going well, I can withstand the blows, the waiting, the unknown, and stay grounded in Him and declare, I shall not be moved. Who is the Lord? He is the God of hosts, of all powers and angels and the earth can melt at His word. All those things that I depend on for my security are but an illusion.

He is also the God of Jacob, the swindler, the deceiver, one who wrestled with God and was made stronger and more faithful because of his struggles. He is the Jacob have I loved. So I can go to God with all of me. He welcomes my fears and weaknesses, my confusion, anger, and failures, because He is merciful and kind and He keeps His promises. He wants me to release my self-reliance and the deception I keep wanting to hang onto to feel safe.

⁸Come, behold the works of the Lord,
    how he has brought desolations on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
    he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the chariots with fire.

Behold, remember His works. He who made wars to cease and brought peace can surely handle the crisis and work all things for my good. Behold and remember that our God is a God who draws nearer to the troubled and broken-hearted. I’ve experienced this before. He carried me in even darker times. He was with me when I received that phone call letting me know that my brother had a terrible accident and may not make it. He was with me on the airplane getting to the hospital, He was with me as I planned the funeral and He walked beside me through the deep waters and dark valleys of grief, and He has been with me since as I cared for my parents as the only living sibling in the aftermath. Surely, He will help me leap over today’s hurdles and be my shield.

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God.
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth!”
¹¹ The Lord of hosts is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Be still and know that I am God. When I am still, He can calm my anxieties and even my very breaths become prayers. I sense my knowing settling into my heart and into my gut and body too, loosening the knots in my stomach and lifting the burdens off my shoulders. I feel the grip of self-obsession releasing to the Lord and He helps me to not make today all about me. The stillness is found inward as these verses were meant for the battleground and not high towers away from it all (or from flower fields or a clean house or a beach house or a pretty library). They are reminders to look up in the midst of the chaos and see the Lord who has conquered the grave, exalted.

Prayer is also listening and in the stillness I am asking for the Lord’s comfort and encouragement for me today. In Scripture, God often responds to His people when they cry out to Him in these ways:

Do not fear.

Trust me.

Get up and go.

Let me use you.

Surrender.

Am I enough?

Join me.

Taste and see.

Be strong and Courageous.

Today, I hear Him saying, “Be strong and courageous.” Those giants are not so big and I am bigger. I feel courage to face the day confident that He is truly with me, thankful that He is already doing a good work in me, freeing me from fears and worries but moreover from my self-sufficiency and idols of security.

Truly, GOD is my refuge and strength.